Bangkok dangerous! Don't try this at home...

As an expat and woman in Bangkok I am in danger all the time...or so most people I talk to, who have not been here, seem to think. They often say things like: "Aren't you scared? Isn't Bangkok dangerous for women?" Most of these ideas come from something they may have glimpsed on the news or some report on the internet that highlighted some danger. Yes, we have had multiple coup d'etats here in the last 6 years, and certainly people died. We've also had floods, and more people died or their homes were ruined. People get killed here just as they do in the USA, Europe or Canada.

That does not stop most people from living a very enjoyable life here on a daily basis, and creating businesses in this thriving, bustling metropolis. 

In fact, I feel safer here than in many other countries. For one, with nearly 15 million people in this city, there are always people around. There are very few dark alleys for evil to lurk, most streets are brightly lit, with people out and about, eating on the street, socialising any night of the week. Thais are generally polite and happy to help if you ask for it. 

So when I hear that question, 'Aren't you scared?" about living and working overseas here in Asia, I wonder if it is not because the person asking it is maybe scared. Scared of unknowns, or scared of being out of their own comfort zone. It is easy to pass on an opportunity because it "may be dangerous" or "it wouldn't work anyway", or "I could never do/complete/succeed in that".  I let myself fall victim to that train of thought sometimes too. It is safe and easy. Comfortable like a well-worn blanket. 

Not your average commute to work...

But lately I've been doing a lot of reading about productivity, efficiency and challenging yourself. So I try to shrug off that security blanket sometimes and push myself beyond my comfort level. 

Because when you think about it, when are you really the happiest? 

It is when you are safely on the couch, watching that TV show, eating the same few rotated dinners, going on holiday to the same old places year in, year out? 

Or is it that time when you threw caution to the wind and went on that zip line adventure, or that time when you tried sushi and found out you loved raw fish after all? Or when you went cycling through the Masai Mara, and ended crashing upside down in an aardvark hole with scratches and bruises all over, but was not that one of the highlights of the trip? 

When do you feel the most alive? Tim Ferriss' book, The 4-Hour Workweek suggests that the opposite of happiness is not sadness but boredom, and that therefore excitement equates to happiness. For me, I think that's what makes me love being my own boss as well as living in another country. It forces me to get outside my comfort zone sometimes, simply because I've either never done it before, or I've never been there before. And guess what? Most times, I don't die, I don't actually fail miserably, or horribly embarrass myself. In most cases, the worst case scenario is just a good laugh at yourself. I think you'll find the same thing for you. 

Try a new dish every week...?

So why not give yourself a challenge? Perhaps start small: Eat something completely new, once a week. (Eating children only recommended for fictional characters.)

Or check out this Failure Games app, which gives you challenges and 24 hours to complete each. Today's challenge: Ask a friend to write down 3 things you can improve upon, then take a photo of the list (you have to submit the proof; you're held accountable!). 

In stead of re-booking last year's all-inclusive getaway, you could throw a dart at a map and go on a road trip holiday there. Imagine if you got lost! Would it really be so bad? 

There are lots of ways to challenge yourself. If you're getting a queazy feeling in your gut, you're doing it right! 

Hopefully this post inspired you to take a step outside your comfort zone and challenge yourself. If it did, or if you have other ideas and suggestions, please share it in the comments!

Happy Halloween everyone! Spook on! 

Cristel

Your Senzu Style Insider.  

On the couch with a life coach (who's been on Oprah!)

A few years ago, in a small upstairs room in this coffee shop in Bangkok, I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Cherie Carter-Scott, Ph.D. and her husband Michael. We were all there for an intensive 4-day Thai reading course, in an effort to improve our Thai language skills. During coffee breaks, we started talking and it turned out that was not the only thing we had in common. Like us, they also own their own business, are expatriates living in multiple countries for months at a time, taking a variety of courses to improve ourselves, love of travel and the list goes on. 

One of the things that intrigued me about Cherie and Michael is that they are professional life coaches. In fact, not only do they help people by coaching them, they even teach others to become life coaches. And yes, she's been on Oprah, check out the video here. 

When she offered to give me a coaching session, I grabbed the opportunity to get a new experience. An hour with her really brought home some truths about myself and yes, it helped!


Cherie works with a lot of owners, entrepreneurs and people going into business for themselves for the first time, so I asked her if I could ask her some questions for my blog here, in the hopes that some of the answers may also help you, my dear readers, with your business or life goals in general. 

She said yes, so here we go!
Q: Thanks for the interview, Cherie. Let's start with what is a life coach? It could mean anything, what is it that you do? 
A: Life Coaching is a partnership between coach and client in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires the client to maximize their personal and professional potential. The coaching relationship continually gives all the power to know and to choose to the client. The basic assumption is that the client knows the answers to all questions and challenges he or she may encounter, even if those answers appear to be hidden from their perspective.
Life Coaching is a profession that is profoundly different from consulting, mentoring, advising, therapy, or counseling. The coaching process focuses on specific objectives, examines what is going on right now, helps the client to discover their obstacles or challenges, and facilitates them making a choice to make their life what they envision.

Q: What have you found to be the most common obstacle that people encounter when starting out with their own business? And what advice would you give that might help them overcome it? 
A: Fear of failure, or conversely fear of success. In fact, change is what makes people uncertain, insecure, and indecisive. Change for the worse or change for the better makes the client feel out of control and can in and of itself create a block to making a decision and taking action. To overcome fear, the individual must trust him or herself and believe that they have what it takes to make their life become what they envision. Secondly, they have to be willing for life to shift from good to great. They might have a good life, but are they willing to have their life be absolutely fantastic? If they want to go for greatness, it will require taking a risk. If they are risk averse, they must consider the cost-benefit analysis of their choices and consequences.

Q:  You've been in business as a successful entrepreneur for quite some time now, and you work with family! How do you make that work without either killing each other or being consumed by your work? 
A: It will be 40 years as an entrepreneur in 2014! We have six businesses that are all related to individual and organizational transformation. I work closely with my sister for 40 years as my business partner and my husband for the last 23 years. My closest associates are my family and friends. We need to stay current with each other at all times, no withheld communications, no secrets, no hidden agendas. In my book, If Love is a Game, I address "No Stones in the basket" which means that you don't put issues in the basket on your head, but rather on the table to be addressed. Transparency is our motto, and sometimes we need to preface the communication with, "I have something uncomfortable to say, and you may not want to hear it, but I have to say it or write it because it it is getting in the way of our relationship." Our pact with each other is to make it safe to say the "Unsayable," and clear the air regardless of how difficult it may be to deal with the content.

Q: What is, in your opinion, the first thing people should do when considering becoming their own boss? 
A: There are questions that are really important for the potential entrepreneur to answer. I have attached this list to this interview. If you want to publish it, feel free (I've added this list at bottom of this blog post). I have learned over the years that this is absolutely critical to sort out before the person makes the leap. Honesty is key to this process. If the person is truthful and really knows him or herself well, answers the questions correctly with "Yes" answers, then they will succeed if they are willing to do whatever it takes.

Q: You've met and worked with a lot of successful people, whether they were entrepreneurs or not. Is there one thing you could say they all have in common? 
A: They believe in themselves. They are flexible to change direction when required. They do whatever is needed and wanted without complaining. The four main components are: desire, willingness, belief, and commitment.

Q: Thanks very much Cherie, for your candour and being part of this interview! One final question: What do you love most about your job? 
A: I love watching people manifest their heart's desires. I love watching them become successful. I love watching them release the stress and transform their lives into what they envision in their deepest desires. It fuels me, and since I can only ask them for what I am willing to live as an example, I am also going for my dreams, and this process has no end to it. That means that as long as my brain is fully functioning, and my body is at optimal performance  there is no end in sight. You see, there will always be people in transition who want to make their dreams become reality...and that is why I am the dream midwife! 
Thank you Cristel for asking! My website is: www.drcherie.com in case your readers want to give personally signed books for holiday gifts!





Dr. Cherie and I are working together on the Dutch audio version of her book 'If Life is a Game, these are the Rules'. 

It has a lot of simple truths in it that you may find helpful, whether you're on your way to becoming an entrepreneur or just would like a better grasp of your own life.


I hope you all enjoyed Cherie's input as much as I have! Contact her directly through the links in the text above the interview if you would like to schedule a life coaching session with Dr. Cherie or if you'd like to learn more about what she does. If you've been inspired to become your own boss, contact me ;-)

Style on!

Cristel